The Honeymoon Ends

Rachel is writing for a change. It is hard to follow Brian’s eloquence and humor, but my jealousy has gotten the best of me, so I am writing tonight.

Background info that you need to know- my lack of control over our lives is strangling me in Colombia. I, unlike Brian, can’t talk to almost anyone, don’t want to force Harry to bond with me and feel completely non-confident about what to do. Therefore, suggestions on things to do are taken without any thinking through, “is this a good idea?” Flash forward to this morning. We are heading to west of Bogota to a huge mall (they really love malls in Colombia- did not expect this at all) to a famous “DiverCity,” a kid museum of sorts that allows kids to pretend they are fire fighters, vets, racecar drivers, etc. In retrospect, taking a seven-year-old child who is brand new to your family and the world at large, to the most overwhelming, over-stimulating place on the planet, was not actually the best idea. Also, important to picture, everything is in another language, so our other child wants to take part as well, but the scare factor is huge. Parents are not allowed in each exhibit. Parents are not also directly told important things like “where is the exit” or “ you can’t leave unless everyone in your group leaves at the same time.” (This will make sense in a minute). After one hour, Harry was not listening to anything Brian was trying to tell him and Addie was in tears (mom too). After hour number two, Addie had mellowed quite a bit and was waiting patiently to do the “how to make yogurt “exhibit. Harry was demanding to do only what he wanted, regardless of his parents’ requests or Addie’s feelings.  So, we finally said “no” to Harry. Now imagine loud howling and screaming from a seven year old. We knew that this would happen. We were not really thinking it would come so soon in the honeymoon period. I picked him up and attempted to find the exit, thinking like most parents, remove the kid from the problem, the problem gets much smaller and easier to handle. Believe it or not, it is not easy to carry a screaming seven year old around a place where you can’t find the exit. To make matters worse, two of the women working there know a little bit of English and are trying to help. They then talk to Harry in Spanish and, in an attempt to get him to calm down, ask him if he wants to go play some more! The exact opposite of what we want/need! Brian quickly corrects them. But, my limited Spanish only allows a few words and phrases, one which is 'Ayudmame", which I repeated over and over, thinking I could get him to "Help me" help him. (Ayudame translates to 'Help me'). Later I realized that this is the name of the orphanage we just took him out of, and he probably thinks I was telling him that we were going to return him to Ayudame! Then, the big shocker comes in- we can’t leave. I just pick a place on the floor and hold Harry, trying to rock him and soothe him, while Brian and Addie are found. Not fun for either of us (more crying from both Harry and mom). Fifteen minutes later, we are all leaving the place, but can’t find the damn exit of the mall with our screaming Harry. Finally, we do exit before security comes to arrest us. Harry gets outside and stops howling. We go home. The rest of the day was a wash- two worn out parents trying to play with both kids and recover from a not so banner day.  Tomorrow will be much calmer.

One more note- in defense of women everywhere- on Brian’s last post, he wrote we left the gold museum because of Addie refusing to use a seat less toilet. He made that up. Both Addie and I chose to not use such a toilet, but stayed in the museum for another hour. We left after pleas from both kids that they had had enough culture & history for the day. Brian thinks I am being silly to baulk at his “editorializing.” I feel Addie’s rep as a tough, “take everything in stride” girl is very important to defend!  Thanks again for all the comments and encouragement from all over the US! It definitely helps us have courage! You all ROCK!